Never has time always busy?!

That is what he always says. "I got to focus on my music." Yeah sure I understand it's important, but you go out of your way to photoshop "her" pics when you are supposedly working on your music. I can't take this any more you are a fucking bastard and why can't I just let you go!! I want to stop fucking crying and getting the heat in my heart when I get so freaking pissed at you. I beg that God will help me forget you.

My brain just won't shut up

I wish I could stop thinking about him. I just want to scream!!! For fuck's sake, brain SHUT UP!!

Maybe it would be good to just walk away...

I have thought about it many times. Maybe I should not say a word and fade away from him. Could be what is healthy and what I need.
I keep telling myself that,but it's hard. Maybe I am addicted or in denial. I don't want to hurt him, but he's hurt me so much. I want to stop thinking about him. I wish that there was some way to erase the memory of him.

I want it to get better...

Yes I do want it to get better. My sister and like most people would say,"cut him out of your life". Ok easier said than done. I have not felt so much for somebody like I do for him.
He tells me that I am important in his life and that I am the most genuine person he has ever met and I feel the same way, but I am having a horrible time letting go. I just want to stop crying and feeling lonely all the time, dammit!! It fucking has to end.

Being positive my butt

Everyone keep telling me, "be positive". I try all the time and when everything seems to go the way it is supposed to, then something big and bad comes in and destroys what positive energy I have. I hate it when I am told " don't worry things will get better'. Well, they don't! I read "The Secret" everything in that book is easier said than done people!

I still hurt

It's been almost a year and I still have strong feelings for you. I still think about you everyday. I still cry hard. I still suffer with what we could have had. You tell me that you still care about me very much and that you don't want me out of your life, but you don't want a relationship. It is very clear that you don't know what you want. One day I will not be there and maybe you will see how empty your life will be. I want to stop crying and hurting because of you. I try to pull away from you and you will not let me. What is it that you want from me!!