This is what he did to me......

This morning I woke up,
Bursting with confidence,
Overflowing with excitement,
I was convinced I'd done it,
Convinced I had succeeded
When I found out the truth,
I was crushed,
Feeling empty and broken,
But somehow I managed,
To pull myself together,
Determined not to cry
Determined to be fine
But I am not
This life its not what it's supposed to be
you are not who you say you are
this place is different then i pictured
I'm not sure what you see when you look around
but through my eyes it's nothing more to me than a prison from which i can not escape
i want nothing more than to follow it into the eternal darkness
the light just makes my eyes burn till i cry
i thought you might like to know that my wish is to die
but Ii can't do it I'm not afraid of the pain
i stay here in constant pain
but then you say
just come with me everything will be okay
i trusted.... you lied
for those that truly care but do not know enough to see whats really on the inside
on the inside is a creature to terrifying for even a horror movies
those that can see it shield their eyes and run in fear
some can feel it trying to fight it's way out
they too run not caring about the one that has to carry it inside
Why is this happening to me?

I am weak.....

The hurting urge of crying tears...

The pain that is heaped...

They call them fears...

The sudden shadow in which i hide...

I'm just a person...

Lost inside...

Dreaming and wishing...

That one day I'll find...

The daylight that never will turn into night...

And just a sudden moment...

That i can finally speak...

Without my heart falling weak...

To the liars

Sometimes the truth hurts
sometimes it hurts to tell the truth
but a lie insults trust
so whats the functional use
half truths, white lies
sometimes called a small fib
Truth is.. its easier to accept the truth
than to have to whole heartedly forgive
or have to live
with the idea of sacrificing another`s emotions
for conventional slander,
or throw out overhyped conversation
for occasional selfish banter..
Not to recant, revamp, any past dealings, persue`
But Damn I know the feeling of being betrayed
I remain unphased, blahzay...
Reap the positve... we all learn to live WISER
experiencing Brighter days
'JUST'
sit back, relax
watch karma unfold and repay....

Anger

I am so pissed that I feel as if my skin is on fire and that my heart pounds so hard that it's about to burst from my chest. I feel as if I am going to go into a crying fit, but I am fucking tired of crying. I can't take it any more. The mother fucker hurt me and all I can do is let him hurt me.

eating

so I have not been eating lately. I just don't feel like it. I did try to eat today and ended up throwing up. I feel so repulsed.

This is such an horrible day.

All I could do was cry today. He's moved on to someone else. I just want to die. God is laughing at me. Does God hate me so much to torture me this way.I want to leave this place and never go back. He is just like every asshole guy in the word.

Change

Something about him is different. I don't know what, but I know and can tell. It's driving me crazy. It shouldn't drive me crazy. I hate the fact that he is being distant. I don't know what I did or did not do. I just wish he'd tell me.